Im always saying to myself, Im not committed... Why do I have to plan on going insane? Two weeks notice- at least- because I DO care about some of these people, its that mutual feeling, people care about me, so I guilt myself into caring back. I WANT OUT. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. Before I slip back into that winter drug routine. It doesnt even scare me right now. And thats scary. I want to get high. But I CANT. because Im COMMITTED. How did this happen? How am I so childish... but so adult that I have to plan on being spontanious? This is bullshit. This place is bullshit. ROLES are bullshit. And I know this... So how did I fall into it? I want to find a 3k diamond. I want that clippers and a post it note feeling again. I want to be angry. Im too ok with this.