WAKING UP

I fell asleep about 3 years ago- and after 8 months of rebound and reabilitation- I figured it would be worth it to give it all up- I got high on the determination to get myself to my feet and on a higher level- I slept the last 3 days and boredom off- to the point where I couldnt remember what I dreamt- I couldnt remember why I was still here- or what went wrong- it's 2am again- the same as back around the clock once- I'm back to thinking it never changes- and the cycle wont stop- itching and twitching- everythings asleep but me- its been 3 years...- and I miss the times when the drugs were good for me- and my self induced depression was something to look forward to- I focused all my attention on prentending I couldnt help it- and I was right- and now that I've realized this- Its turning to something real- and Im waking up- and just like before- I dont think I can handle it-----