THIS SIDE OF PARADISE:

I've told some of you but if your wondering why I havent I posted in a while I started a livejournal ---> wordfuriedwhore.livejournal.com thats where I'll be posting all my new stuff. I'll still use this blog to post old work from the notebook chest... just gotta get organized... ya know. So dont stop checking back here, I will be posting old stuff soon. But if you want something *******!NEW AND EXCITING!******* take a looky at my livejournal oh oh and if your getting sick of me go to haphazardpoets.livejournal.com <---- some amazing writes by some amazing characters I know

wordfuriedwhore

the blue flame lit up- and shot to the side for the fuck of it- you said- sweet things- my lungs feel much better today- my stomach is rolling- but I'll take that- thick- power- black - and hope for the best- through arched up collars- Im looking at you as hopeful as your talking- your hoping- I really am all that you say- your hopingthat i will push the limit- 407- BAKER- no one I knew for sure- why am I thinking bakersfield?- what does that mean?- in the name of death- newborns- fairies and jezebel- and those blue speks in your eyes- specially- special- when you cry out or wimper- i knowits you- its always been you- im sorry- but you were right- you will never calm me- I will always bleed- for you-

say it with me` I will always be gracious` I will always be gracious` I will always be gracious` This really isnt a small world` but keep your karma in line` and good things will happen` even if I dont know what to do with it` I will always be gracious`

more for the geminis

with all these more-than-coinsidence connections, Im not even baffled- Im meeting people under odd circumstances that I know I knew in a past life- at least- and they agree, its mutual. And I've got some crazy cosmic draw to Geminis And virgos are angry and inspiring. I could even stand a cigarette with a Cancer. And I will never date an Aquarius again. Im awake! and I keep thinking: those Geminis... I just want to bite all their necks, not to hard, but leave a little mark, just to say, hey, I appriciate what your doing for my mind, I appriciate my frustration with you and the fact that your pants are still on, thanks...- Today, my favorite Gemini and I tried to sell some books, and on the way we did the "freestyle poetry" thing. When he says something beautiful, he moves his hands alot. I tell him to write that down. he put his hands to his chest and looked at me, I replyed: We crawl over old words like dead bodies, and make something new from it, when we make words, all order is reversed, rocks tumble up and smoke billows down.... We're talking about writing a book together. fucking Geminis.... your beautiful.

Im always saying to myself, Im not committed... Why do I have to plan on going insane? Two weeks notice- at least- because I DO care about some of these people, its that mutual feeling, people care about me, so I guilt myself into caring back. I WANT OUT. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. Before I slip back into that winter drug routine. It doesnt even scare me right now. And thats scary. I want to get high. But I CANT. because Im COMMITTED. How did this happen? How am I so childish... but so adult that I have to plan on being spontanious? This is bullshit. This place is bullshit. ROLES are bullshit. And I know this... So how did I fall into it? I want to find a 3k diamond. I want that clippers and a post it note feeling again. I want to be angry. Im too ok with this.

The 'i heart yous' are wispered through sleep- I think back: ~lets go somewhere~, lets just take the money and leave, two bus tickets to New Mexico, ---- then we can dance over the border.- and work our way down... eventually to the right.- Really darling, you mean alot to me, ----- ~get me the fuck out of here.~- I was half dreaming with you right behind me- again.... blue ponies- words arnt pushed through when it comes to you- no grader needed- even when you cant say it right- I understand- and when you cant even say- darling- I know what your thinking- please, get me out of here.- you choked down everything unsettled in me- its almost gone- Im ready- lets just be.... - anywhere- lets get. the . fuck . out of here.........

kissing is strange

Quickly- We were waiting for the east bound max- man comes running in circles with a bottle of rum- he was dressed nice- a girl with wild hair came stumbling after- she tried to seem angry but she wasnt, they fell into each other, and kissed, I forgot that people can see you when you see them, I thought they were beautiful,- she looked at us and told us we were beautiful, it was probably just the lighting - she asked me, "where did you get your bag? Old navy? (no) gap? (no) hollister?" (ah! no!)- I went in there once and they looked at me like I was insane, I just was walking by and liked the smell. -I told her, "second hand", she said something like "ah right, second hand, see... thats it, thats good..." her and the boy mouth raped each other again and stumbled off, I really liked that girl's hair.--- I kissed a girl on a street corner with green eyes and hair like that once,- a passing car yelled obscenities at us and she pulled me closer and wrapped one leg around me twice.---- Where does the instinct to push our eating holes together and get off on it come from anyways?

The hot ones, get off on themselves- not nessisarily all over, they dont even have to be naked, and they can have peircings or tattoos... or not.- Im okay with between your legs and staying right there for now, and I think your okay with it too.- Even if the possibilities we talked about were more than possibilities, Im okay with just talking about them for now, even if there were more options.- Maybe the next step scares me- maybe Im scared of getting off- maybe not- maybe Im afraid of losing my inspiration- like it will all pop out in one big bubble of thought when an orgasm comes- and Im afraid I'll forget before I write it down- maybe Im afraid the possibilities will make new overwhelming ideas-because they're different ideas- maybe thats why I'm just writing about it. Chewing Ice... sex isnt that frustrating right now, it will be later- It'll be fucking angry- but Im okay with right now. Muse me like you said you I muse you. "put it in my hand and tell me how much pressure it takes to get you off..."